My first time flying

About a week ago I flew for the first time, it was local and the flight was about 55 minutes so quite short. But as a first time flyer this was an adventure for me. I didn’t know whether I would freak out at the height (since this has been known to happen) perhaps I would start screaming in a fit of panic or I would just calmly enjoy the flight. We would soon find out… We were running late and just made it in time to board, boy what a stressful first time. I didn’t even get a chance to look around or freak myself out with worry instead boom we were on the plane. Thanks to our genius booking, I sat alone between total strangers.

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Here is my thought process during this event:

So in we go…..*Oh Lord, I am inside of a plane. It looks nothing like the movies… seat 31B, 31B, 31B.. ah 31 oh great someone is already sitting in 31A* “Excuse me, is this 31B?” The older man politely says “yes it is, the middle seat”. “Thanks!”

Okay not so bad, middle isn’t too bad, I can still look out the window so its fine… Oh great I’m getting so hot, where is that fan thingie people spoke about? And now another person is sitting down… Shit! No taking off this jacket now. Oh my balls! Its cramped in here. Why is this taking so long, shit so many people everywhere. I’m getting a little claustrophobic right now. Why the hell didn’t I just pack my pillow in the effing bag. Okay okay this guy looks a little younger, more approachable.. “Excuse me, sorry can you maybe put my pillow up there? haha sorry!” “Uh yeah sure no problem” “Thank you:)”.

Okay that’s better, still getting flippen hot though. Why have we not left yet, I swear it’s been like 15 minutes already… When do we put the seat belts on… Oh okay so young blue denim guy seems to know lots about flying, already buckled up, so is Mr. business man so might as well follow their lead. Right safely secure… Oh that’s where all the oxygen masks usually fall from in movies. Great now I am picturing every scene I have ever seen of plane crashes and we’re not even in the air yet. People usually flip-up against the roof and then oxygen masks drop and seats get ripped out with half the plane.Oh hey Mr. Business man is talking…

“They taking quite a bit of time leaving aren’t they” – Mr. Businessman “Uh yeah they are, and it’s my first time flying so haha we’ll see how that goes.” “Oh really? My wife loves the lift off, she says it’s like a roller-coaster.” “Oh that’s cool, maybe I’ll like it too. Do you fly often”. “Oh yeah I go down to Durban a lot for business, flying back again tonight.” “Oh wow short visit.”

Oh they are announcing that we need to switch off all electronic devices, damn it where is my phone. Why did I take such a big bag? Ah there it is, okay off. Good now I won’t be the reason the plane crashes. OKAY here we go. Oooh that feels so cool, haha I wanna laugh, but you know surrounded by people and I don’t want to look like a crazy person. Oh wow that is beautiful, we are so high; okay okay we are so high oh dear God oh my goodness I can feel the panic rising…. Oh wow that’s a turn, I am turning in air, high up in the air, getting higher, okay shit that’s scary. Right now this is actually not so bad. Aaah pretty…

Let’s listen to some music, wait, am I allowed to? Oh yes I see other people with earphones so I’m good. Not bad at all. Oh my goodness why did denim guy just have like a shake fit. *takes earphones out, nope no scary noises, no turbulence* That was weird. Oh my gosh, poor guy he looks really scared. Fidgeting the whole time. Looks like he just got the fright of his life. Must be his first time flying too.

*Ladies and gentlemen please switch off all electronic devices*

What? It’s over already. Wow that was fast, oh yup the ground is getting closer, oh everything is so green it’s so pretty…Just felt the wheels, I definitely do not like this. Okay I don’t like this… OH MY GOSH yeah I definitely prefer the lift off….But I am alive, and I can’t wait for the next time.

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So that was my experience as a first time flyer. Coming back the flight was not as smooth. I sat by the wing and it was cloudy and we had slight turbulence and the landing was horrific (okay I am a bit dramatic but it was not good at all). I have finally been on a plane, it took 21 years but I did it. And hope to be on one again soon, maybe international this time:)

 

That time I strangled a man…

So it’s March 2012 and we (myself, the bestie and the sister) are on our way to the Usher concert at Soccer City. Excitement has been building up for months and now it’s finally happening. We are about to see the sex god that is Usher, LIVE! (Que high-pitched girly screams and a few fainting ladies.)

Right so we finally arrive at the stadium and the queues went on for days (correct term being kilometers). We met a few interesting people along our way into the stadium. A couple of crazed ladies and a few crazed men all of them ready to scream, faint and rip their clothes off at the sight of Usher. Like I said, crazed!

We finally make it into the stadium and it is only 13:00 and we have hours to go before Usher performs at 20:00, so we get some drinks and go exploring. This kept us busy for about an hour, and one of us always had to stay behind so as not to lose our seating. Seriously people did not care if you were sitting there, if you get up they will pounce. 

Eventually some of the opening acts started performing, it’s now 17:00, the clouds are getting heavy and next thing we knew a storm was brewing and rain showered down on us. Every where you looked people were running and ducking to get under the roof. We were quite lucky, we literally missed the rain by about 5 centimeters. We started to get worried, what if the concert gets cancelled. Rain is pouring down on the stage… Everyone was praying I am sure of it, and tweeting Usher “Please perform we are waiting, we wont leave, USHER!!”. So maybe we were all a little crazed but come on we couldn’t, not see Usher with his rocking bod and godlike dance moves.

After about an hour or so the rain started to clear up and things were looking good for us. Some more opening acts performed and finally the amazingness that is Usher took the stage!! (excitement that you can feel in your bones)

Boy, it was unbelievably amazing. Flashing lights; people chanting USHER over and over again. Music so loud the ground was shaking and finally… that voice!! Needless to say it was an amazing night. The crowd was insane and when “without you” started we all jumped up and down at the same time, it looked like the building came alive. It was…. AMAZEBALLS!

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Right so you are probably wondering, what does any of this have to do with her strangling a man… Well that part is coming, I promise.

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Sadly the concert is over and to avoid traffic and hundreds of people, when Usher sang his last song we ran like maniacs outside to try to get to the “v.i.p” bus that was supposed to take us back to the car. But what happened next was absolute and utter chaos. It’s about midnight and suddenly hundreds of people are around us and everyone is running and pushing to get to the bus.

Yes! Yes! We finally made it, but no, wrong bus. So back through the crowd we squeeze and run up the road to a different bus. (And just so you know there were no signs or boards or directions of any kind showing us where to go). So we are standing in the next queue waiting, the people around us are even more crazed than what they were before the concert. I’m guessing that most of them were drunk because now they were acting like lunatics, jumping over the ropes that were dividing the queues and were running to get to the front of the bus. The three of us were getting quite scared and freaked out. So we just kept holding onto each other so as not to lose anyone in the crowd. And as we make it to the front we find out that yet again we were at the wrong bus.

So we decided to go to the middle where the buses pass and wait there. It is now 01:30 am and as we wait more crazy people surround us and someone screams “the bus is up there!”. So we go back in our formation and follow the crowd. All the while chaos and confusion envelopes everyone as people go up and down the aisles and shove against each other. And guess what, it was the wrong bus again!

This wasn’t fun anymore, we were tired and exhausted from all the running around, it’s almost 2 am and still no bus. Once again we squeeze through the crowd and walk towards the middle to wait for the next bus, hoping that this one will be the correct one, and everyone around us are still shoving and pushing against us.

*side note: the bestie and I were wearing shorts and had our phones in our pockets*

The bestie and me:)

So the three of us are holding hands and pushing through this huge crowd to get to the middle, our formation was as follows: The sister, me (as I am the smallest and so short they figured I would be safest in the middle), and then the bestie. Somehow whilst pushing through the crowd the bestie let go of my hand and disappears, the sister and I run towards the bus and I realize that the bestie is no longer with us. I’m screaming that she’s gone and I don’t see her, there is a huge crowd of people around us and now I am panicking because I don’t know where she is. I let go of the sister’s hand to look around for the bestie. And what happens next happened so fast I never saw it coming…

This random man kept bumping into me. The sister was standing by the bus door, I remember saying that if someone bumps into me again I am going to flip out. Suddenly I feel my phone slip out of my pocket as this guy bumps me again. I go cold, all I am thinking is that no way in hell can I lose my phone. Next thing I knew I had my hand wrapped around this man’s throat screaming at him to give my phone back. Now he was quite a tall man so I have no idea how I managed it.

While all of this was happening the sister thought I had finally gone insane and just attacked this random innocent man, the bestie  came around the corner and saw short little me strangling this giant man. I was still screaming at him, the sister was screaming at me, the bestie was in utter shock and the crowd had made a circle around me. The man’s eyes bulged with shock as he sneakily tried to shove my phone to someone else, luckily thanks to my insane reflexes (or just pure dumb luck) I saw it and managed to grab my phone before it was lost forever.

Security guards have come closer and the sister screams “Felicia you can’t just do that, they’ll stab you!!”, I scream back in my own defense “but he stole my phone!”. The bestie then at this moment realized that her phone had been stolen in the same way. The security guards searched the man but he didn’t have her phone. Unfortunately we couldn’t find the person that had stolen her phone but we did eventually make it to the correct bus and safely home after running like maniacs, almost being part of a stampede, and nearly being tripped by crazy drunk people.

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I must admit my sudden outbreak of violence was quite surprising and terrifying but my hand was around this man’s neck now and so I might as well go with it. And I did. Thank God that he was too shocked by this short girl to retaliate and just gave the phone back. The sister and the bestie told me their version of the events and how funny the sight of me strangling someone was to them. We were all in hysterics by the time we made it back home.

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We had an eventful night, it was amazing, terrifying and exciting all in one. It’s a night I’ll never forget and it will always be… That time I strangled a man.

Usher concert 2012.
The sister, the bestie and me:)